Avoiding Disgust:

I'm going to spend 40 thousand dollars on my education this year. The coffee I just bought cost me about 3 dollars. Collectively I have about 600 dollars worth of stuff with me right now, to say nothing of the clothing I own, the books in my room, and the expensive camera I purchased last summer. In a few days, I'm going to go to Prague on a plane that cost me roughly 250 dollars to fly on.

It's really so easy for me to forget that for 40,000 dollars I could support a family of 4 in a third world country for 13 and a half years. It's easy for me to forget that with the price of this laptop, I could ensure that a single person has the required antibiotics to combat malaria for the REST OF THEIR LIFE.

It's easy for me to forget that while I'm busy writing a blog and researching for an essay on consciousness, one that will likely change no lives besides my own, that in the last minute 4 people died of Tuberculosis. It's easy for me to forget that my privilege has been born on the back of years of war, genocide, and inequality.

It's so easy to forget that when I spend money, I am making a conscious choice to participate in that continual inequality.

The reason I forget so easily is because the more I dwell on it, the more disgusted I become with my education, my laptop, my work, my living. I can quickly become so disgusted that I'm paralyzed, afraid to continue doing the work I need to be doing, uncertain of what I can be doing to help and whether any activity to help actually means anything when faced with the colossus of inequality.

So instead of becoming disgusted, I evoke a conscious amnesia and simply forget. Because drinking coffee is so much better than thinking about poverty and death.

Tonight I'll try a different tact, lest I become like so many bloggers, like so many idealistic men and women my age. Tonight, I'm going to list 3 practical things I can be doing to interact with inequality today.

1)Begin recording how much money I spend on things for one month. At the end of this month, go through the list to determine what money was poorly or unnecessarily spent. Take 10% of that and invest it in microfinance opportunities.

2)Research and volunteer for women's shelters, homeless shelters, nursing homes, schools, or refugee serving organizations in Seattle when I return.

3)Make the conscious attempt to smile at people where ever I go. One can only imagine the psychological benefit for both I and the recipient.

This list is weak, but it is a start and more importantly, it is doable. In the case of 1 and 3, it requires little extra effort on my part. In the case of 2, it gets me involved and acting in the situations I claim to have care for.